My high school basketball coach was one of toughest, yet one of the best. I can't count the number of trophies that lined the halls and banners that hung from the ceilings at my old high school, but most of them, if not all were from teams he had coached. He taught the game of basketball better than most, but he taught us the game of life better than anyone.
I remember my first day of open practice for basketball season. I had just moved to the area the summer of my freshman year and was excited to play. My best friend on my AAU team would also be a freshman there as well. We were excited to be playing together again and knew that we would likely make the Varsity team as Freshmen. I remember meeting my new Coach for the first time. He stood at least 6 foot something with a big frame and a look that said "you don't impress me," me from the very beginning.
Due to a knee injury the summer before my Freshman year, I sat out my whole first year. But the next year, my Sophomore year and the years following, I was on the Varsity team. That first year on Varsity my coach made it clear why his teams were so successful. He was tough. He demanded more than most were wanted to give, or even knew they could give. He wanted everything you had at all the times. Till this day I thank him for that. I probably cursed him a few times in my head after he would make us running stairs after a vigorous weight lifting session, but I love him for it now
My biggest take away was something he said to us at as team one day a practice. If memory serves me correctly it was during one of our practices where we were pretty much sucking it up, and there was attitude from us and frustration in him. I remember that he looked up and in his low monotone voice, with this pointer finger in the the air, he said "you can either get bitter, or you can get better". That was it, and then he said run it again. That one phrase is something I have carried with me and constantly reflect on till this day. You can either get BITTER or you can get BETTER.
Remembering this concept has help me not only throughout my years of playing college ball, but my throughout various points in my life as well. In fact, I wasn't always this positive person. I was hard working, yes, but positive, nope. In fact, when I had kids and I first started my Entrepreneur journey I was the complete opposite. I would go from 0 to 100 real quick if things didn't go my way. I wanted it so bad that even the littlest of setbacks would make me mad and I would stay that way for days at time. As my husband, he probably got the brunt of it lol. Looking back now, those days I had spent being mad and bitter, were days I could have used to get better. It wasn't until I had reached the point of being mad to where I couldn't even remember what I mad about anymore, that I started to change. And when I decided that I wanted to change it was that simple phrase that I remembered that helped set me on a more positive path. Get Bitter, or Get Better.
Here I am now, a whole motivational company later, and until this day I still use that phrase as motivation. Motivation not only for me but it is now something I say frequently to my 12 year old son. He is a competitive baseball player with big league dreams like every 12 year old boy baseball player. And like every 12 year old, they expect to do big things every game, every at bat. So when he strikes out or misses a block (at catcher) and I see that frustration set in, I remind him that you can either get bitter or get better son, but you can't do both.
Players: No matter what sport you are playing, when you lose or make a mistake it is easy to get mad, blame yourself, or blame others. But while you are busy being bitter and pissed off, you are taking away the opportunity to learn from those mistakes and to get better. The longer you spend being bitter, the less time you have to get better. And when your bitter your mindset is now focused on you, and what you're did wrong, and your pity party. You are no longer focused on the team, you are focused on you. So what's it going to be, you want to be bitter, or do you want to get better?
Coaches: Especially at the competitive youth level, we know that your primary role is to teach little johnny the game of baseball, or Kate the game of basketball, and as a parent we truly appreciate that. But while it may not be in your job description as a coach to teach them more than beyond the sport you are coaching, just remember whether you know it or not, or mean to or not, you also teaching these kids about life with your words and with your actions at every practice and at every game. Words that can truly impact not just their present, but their future as well. And in my case even for future generations. If you were to ask me today what any of the plays were that I ran in high school, probably a 1,000 times, I couldn't tell you one. But I will always remember that one phrase my coach said, that one time.
LiveDriven
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